Important decisions...

i have made several kind of important decisions today. first, i am glad that USA soccer is done. i had to go to bed early yesterday and wake up at 2 am this morning to watch the game... and it didnt end until 5 am, at which point i went to bed for an hour then woke up and went surfing. big soccer decision = i no longer have to be on a crazy schedule. who the heck cares about world cup anymore?!

second, i have made rent arrangements at the hotel i am staying at in kuta. while concerned that kuta is loud, and not quite the bali that i had pictured, the hotel is secluded and i told myself that as long as i make myself write and/or edit for at least 2 hours a day, it will justify staying in the city. i have forfeited my air conditioning for a fan and a smaller room, but i can afford a moped every day to take me to different breaks around bali and i can still be involved in the neighborhood that i have come to call "home" while here. i am in favorably with the hotel attendent, and he has made me feel very welcomed. instead of running around trying to see everything and being a tourist everywhere i go, i have decided to be a part of bali, and to live in bali day to day, and do everything (including work a little here and there for the hotel) that a "normal" balinese person might do. i am still adamently against the aussies. however, i have separated myself from them by making friends with the locals, being respectful of the neighborhood, and not getting piss drunk and making a fool of myself every waking hour of the day. in the end, i will regret something. that is just the way that i am. but i decided today that rather than regret not taking the time to understand the balinese people, i will sacrifice running around and trying to see everything. i will not see the entire island, or any of the surrounding islands for that matter. but i will be happy knowing that i have lived in bali- not just visited.

i am also wooing a very tiny, cute server at the restaurant that i have made my local place. she has big ears (just like me) and a nice smile. i plan on running around the island with her over the next few weeks. i dont plan on marrying her. i dont think she expects that anyway. she is just fun, and i like that.

i have also decided that my life here should be a life of ratios. for instance, i am permitted one massage for every 2 hours i work in the garden and 2 hours i spend writing/editing. i am permitted 3 hours of surfing for every night i do not drink a beer (only 1.5 hours if i drink a beer the night before). i must run 5 miles for every one day i wake up with a hangover. and always, always, i must drink 5 liters of water (the humidity is draining just by being alive...let alone being active)...

i have also realized that my surf camera is a metaphor for my stay in bali. it broke because i was so actively trying to document my stay for every one at home (that is you!) that i did not fully enjoy the time i was spending here. proof, my best surf sessions were my first and my last, when i left my camera in the hotel. i will attempt to document the beautiful waves when my sister arrives in late july and can photograph me on the waves. but for now, please know that i have never surfed waves such as these. they are beautiful, and they roll through consistently. and they pop up at the last minute and have a beautiful face on them... and, well, you will have to make your own trip to bali if your imagination is not good enough to understand...

i was worried about how i could make my trip here different from all of the other tourists (mostly aussie and japanese). i realized that i could do this by being a part of bali, instead of just jumping in and out of everything without paying much attention to the details. i want to understand the people. and to do so, i am going to become one of the people as much as i can. if that doesnt make sense to you now, hopefully when i return it will. my only goal for this trip now is that when it ends, i will be a better person than when it began. i believe it already is. i started the trip selfishly- hoping to surf my brains out and spend my entire day focused on me. now, i still surf my brains out... but for the other 20 hours a day, i am looking for ways to be a part of this island. so that as i grow, part of me remains here...

thanks for your time... if youve read this far you probably think im crazy. let me save you the wonder. i am. but... this is how i roll... this island is amazing. a lifetime would not be enough to explore it all, let alone explain it. but i am in deep here, and feel comfortable with my decision to be a part of it, instead of taking advantage of it. only time will tell if it was the right decision... but i am not looking back...